Too Big World

M – New York City – Summer, 2001

M – New York City – Summer, 2001

Today I finally created a blog.

For months I searched for the right tool to keep a diary online and a blog was my last option. I didn’t like the look, the feel, and I definitely didn’t like the idea of joining the millions of opinionated, self-centered, and mostly untalented pseudo-writers commonly known as bloggers.

But after much looking I realized that this was the easier, quicker, and more flexible tool available. If I wanted to take advantage of it I’d have to risk looking like another opinionated and self-centered loser in search of validation for my oh-so-important thoughts. Luckily, I don’t give a damn about anyone’s opinion. I just need a simple tool to keep track of ideas I might use in the future.

And simple it is. The process to create the blog was surprisingly quick. In fact, it took me longer to choose the title of the blog than composing this first message.

The title, by the way, doesn’t describe the blog’s purpose, but my emotional mood since 2005. I call it semi depressed or mildly suicidal, but there are no words to describe how shitty I feel since the day I broke up with M.

Anyway, the quote is from Jack Kerouac’s On the Road: “A pain stabbed my heart as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world”.

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